I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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