Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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