"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
