watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
40s are totally the cure
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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