WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
