At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
