i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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