you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
