Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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