i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
