You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
