I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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