i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just blew my weed a kiss
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
