Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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