Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She announced her abortion via fbk
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
