Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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