Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
