my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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