she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
