I just made out with a guy for $7.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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