Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
