Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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