I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
