When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
