Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
