Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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