I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
