My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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