wakey wakey hands off snakey
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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