The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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