If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You ate ashes out of my bong
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