Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
