1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
