So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
