i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
