you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
