Porn is love you can see.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm both gender and math confused
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
