I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
