does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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