there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
