Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
