just come out here and I will go home with you...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
