haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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