Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
