just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Still dying that you shit outside
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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