Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
