So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
