You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
