Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
