When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
