So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
