I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
